someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
