Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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