god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
