He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
