i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
