THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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