so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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