how can u be prego again
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
