we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
