; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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