You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize