I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
