p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
