is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
