1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
