i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
