What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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