Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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