I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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