ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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