Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
