wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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