Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
