I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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