Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
