but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize