I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
