his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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