So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
