Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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