Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize