How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
