And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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