The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
