she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
