i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Randomize
