i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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