Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
