Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
