I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
