That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
