what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
