College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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