we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize