Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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