His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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