According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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