i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
