So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
