my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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