Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
