I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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