I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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