My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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