I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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