Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
