Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
