A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
